If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
