Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
