Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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