What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
