Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
