Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm at about main and main street
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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