i was born a porn star she said
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
