After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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