Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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