I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
