I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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