when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize