in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
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