there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
