we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize