I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
