Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
operation have a gay friend backfired
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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