I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Is Oprah even human
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
