Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize