Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
