are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize