does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
