Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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