I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
