TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
