I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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