He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
