Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
