OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
