I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
