I am in a vortex of obligation.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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