super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
