there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Are we still banned from the library?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
