I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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