I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
This beer is not sobering me up at all
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
