It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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