I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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