Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
