I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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