What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
