Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
