Soap is not a condiment
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
