I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
