why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize