i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
