So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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