Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
