I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
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You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
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I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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