ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
