I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
