i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
so let's talk penis.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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