Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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