proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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