nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
