Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
