the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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