I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
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He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize