I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
