i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
