Do you still have your period?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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