Did you just see the Batmobile???
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
