She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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