ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
