Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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